It's been a bit since I've written...It's been a bit since I've been able to have my own thoughts, feelings and emotions about this new baby we are just weeks away from welcoming...and what this really means.
There has been so much change for our family already that adding another baby hasn't really crossed my mind until recently -- I've just been pregnant adjusting to a toddler, two kids in school all day, a new home, a new life....that the IDEA of a newborn has only been recent.
And there are days when I am fearful of will I be able to do it, days I feel overwhelmed and how in the world am I going to add a newborn? adding in nursing into our schedule? But then I think about what I am about to do...
I am about to welcome a baby into this world....and that's amazing because I know what's coming.
As a third time mom (first were twins!) -- I know what to expect both the good and the bad and there's peace that comes with that.
I can expect some sleepless nights
I can expect little time with my spouse.
I can expect quick and conveient meals.
I can expect a messy house.
I can expect things getting done but maybe not quite the way I would.
I can expect a whole new learning curve with this baby because each baby is different.
I can expect a lot of change.
But I also can expect my love to grow, just when I think my heart is full enough.
I have five year old twins - Grayson and Brooklynn and I remember not wanting more kids because how could I love anyone else like I love them? How could I divide my time even more? How could I spread my attention around? How could I feel about anyone else the way these two made me feel?
Then I had Hayden...and she completely rocked my world -- our whole family. To see Brooklynn and Grayson become BIG BROTHER AND SISTER was such a fun thing to watch, to watch them care for her, speak to her, hug on her, kiss on her, ask about her...and just LOVE her....rocked my world as a mom.
Now that she's developed a personality, can play, eat and copy them....it's even better.
So I sit here anxiously anticipating the arrival of baby 4 -- I know all the hard to expect, the changes...but I also know this:
I get to watch first smiles again.
I get to witness the first roll over.
I get to nurse again.
I get to watch this baby giggle.
I get to watch Hayden become a big sister and watch her grow in her role.
I get to watch Brooklynn and Grayson become THE BIG KIDS of the house even more.
I get to watch this little one grow into a toddler with a personality.
I get to watch them experience the world, learn about the world.
I get to watch them BE LOVED on by so many.
I get to see how God is going to use this baby to be a light in the world.
I get to see how this baby is going to complete our family and bring JOY & ADVENTURE to it (as if we could add more ;))
If you're a momma who's expecting their second and you're doubting the love you could give this second baby. If you're a momma who is hesitant to welcome another baby out of fear of what will change...I'm here to encourage you that YOU KNOW what to expect sure, but there is a whole new level of motherhood waiting for you and it's BEAUTIFUL. It's amazing to watch the first little human be able to mimic you, copy you, love on the baby and grow up in their role in the house.
It's amazing to watch how the same genes, the same enviornment can bring out such different personalities for each of your kids.
Grayson is our inquisitive one, he's proud of his accomplishments, what he knows and he wants to make sure you know it...in the most humbling way possible.
Brooklynn is our artist and entertainer, she's our girlie girl diva - the pinker, the sparklier, the better but she has a huge heart of love for her siblings and is always thinking of others.
Hayden is the life of the party. She's funny, she's incredibly smart, she copy cats and catches on quick.
Three kids. Three different personalities. Three different God given purposes for their time here. And now we have the honor of doing this again and watching baby 4 round out our family (hoping for a big kid, athlete style ;)).....it's a gift. It's what's making me so excited to welcome this baby because I know that beyond the hard newborn stage and everyone becoming acclimated to our new family member....comes great relationship, even more love, our hearts grow and show us a piece that was missing and we didn't even know it.
God knows your heart, what you can handle......and He knows better than you even do. <3
