I googled, for so long..."what does it feel like when your water breaks?"
Websites would simply state "a weird popping feeling"....and I didn't think that was very helpful.
But March 29, 2018 at 11:00 PM I now knew 100% what that feeling felt like.
I laid half on my belly half on my side with my left leg bent and up to my shoulders as high as possible...a move I read in the miles circuit and well...I had to try it, so I did and fell asleep...
Only to wake up two hours later to a weird "pop" feeling in my belly....
...and HORRIBLE PAIN...the pain kept coming every 2-3 minutes, I couldnt believe it, they were INTENSE. I ran into the bathroom full expecting a huge gush of water to come out when I stood up but nothing...I waddled my 39 week pregnant body into the bathroom and by the time I got there, another contraction about 60 seconds. IMMENSE pain.
I sat there contemplating what the heck to do, I still hadn't woke up Matthew, I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do....then I realized I had to go to the bathroom and I panicked that this baby was about to be born in my bathroom on the floor or in the toilet. If I could write emojis, this would be full of them right now.
I went to the bathroom and there it was...if you've never had your water break, it's really hard to describe but at first it wasn't a huge gush like the movies, so I was a little confused but there it was a steady stream of almost a gelatin looking liquid. Super strange...and there they were again, those dang contractions.
Finally, screaming for Matthew, we woke up....he TEXTED my dad, to which I waddled over to my phone and called him saying "You need to get here now, run lights, speed, I'll pay your ticket but this child is on it's way..."
He had a 20 minute drive.
So while he drove, we got everything together, a towel in the front seat and waited with the garage door open. When he was just down the street we pulled out of the driveway so fast. I was gripping the OH SHIT HANDLE like no tomorrow, bracing myself every 2-3 minutes with contractions.
We arrived at the hospital where the guy greeted me with a wheel chair, I was so nervous to sit in it because I knew it wasn't going to be pretty but I needed the chair. Got to L&D and....they actually asked me to be WEIGHED, I couldn't believe, and as I stood up the movie scene of my water breaking happened. All over.
A positive amniotic fluid floor test is what the nurse called it. I walked into a room and as I started to get the gown on, it happened again....all over. So i threw out any clothes from my waist down and got into the bed...grimacing with pain.
A nurse finally walked in "you dont look so good"....no shit, I'm in so much pain and I was starting to panic I wouldn't get the antibiotics in before the baby was born, I had tested positive for strep B. So I was freaking out.
As she's walking around the room Matthew and I both told her "be careful on that side of the bed" , she glances down "what's that from?"
We stare at her, faces straight as can be..."ummm my water broke remember?"
"oh yeah! i thought it was like a slushie spilled or something"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Just get me the heck checked and upstairs please. All the while, contractions coming every 2-2.5 minutes.
They check me, I was at 6 cm and fully effaced, contractions on the monitor starting every 2 minutes! They prepped me with an IV and wheeled me upstairs.
By 1 AM I had my first bag of antibiotics running and my epidural was IN!! We (me, my amazing nurse, the resident and my doctor)decided to just the let the epidural to allow me to rest as much as possible, while my doctor went and caught a short nap too.
Now, I like to still feel my epidural, so we had them do a slow drip or something so that i could still TELL and FEEL my contractions but I wasn't feeling like my body half was about to rip off either.
So we rested, we also decided no checks until we got the second bag of antibiotics hung,, legally we had to get that STARTED in me before the baby came to avoid any other further testing and hospital stays. So at 4:45 we finally were able to hang that second bag, and she did the check.
"there he is. i can feel his head, are you ready to have a baby!?!"
WHAT?! I wasn't even feeling the sense to push at all (i hadn't with Hayden either, they finally made me after sitting at 10 CM for about an hour or something)....so we chatted and i said "i don't feel like I need to push, I"m afraid to start because what if it takes too long? maybe my body isn't quite ready?!"
I asked for 15 minutes to get my mind right and asked if there were any positions to help bring him further down, so I sat in a butterfly position after the nurses and doctor left...2 minutes later I pushed my button and I said :"he's ready, we're ready lets try to push"
So we did, a soft little push and Dr. V watched him flip his cute little head from sunny-side up (this is how i delivered Hayden YIKES!) to the best birthing position...so here we went.
FYI --- I was hesitant on the mirror with Hayden, but it worked so well, so we brought it in FIRST THING with Lincoln and watched the whole thing, if you're unsure about this, put your reservations aside and embrace it, it was fricken awesome!!
I watched each time I pushed, his head get closer and closer and we finally had him RIGHT THERE only to see the cord was wrapped underneath his arm and around - kind of like a drawstring backpack I guess...so doctor had to do an epsiotomy (i had one with Hayden) and once we did that, little man came RIGHT OUT -- 15 minutes of pushing and he was here, in our arms.
Lincoln Matthew made his grand debut and I was so in love. We were so in love. all I kept saying was "i did it, we did it, he's here, i fricken did it, that was amazing!" And this birth, allowed me to just hold him, they didnt weigh, measure or do anything for an hour, it was fabulous. We just sat there together, just us while they handled the rest of me and cleaned it all up.
When they finally did weigh and measure, he was 7 pounds 13 ounces and 21.5 inches long (the same exact measurements as Hayden!!!).
There is no feeling like birthing a baby.
Joy. Accomplishment. Pride. Confidence. Empowered. Completion. Happiness. Beautiful.
That moment when you become a mother again, there's nothing like it. When I have a bad day, when I feel overwhelmed, when I feel inadequate as a mother, I remember those moments and each time it happens, I feel more empowered and connected spiritually.
I am so thankful for the story God is writing for our family.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
Proverbs 31:25
