Motherhood brings a whole new dynamic to your life – not just your family life, but your dynamic with your spouse, your friends, your community, Jesus and even….yourself.
We become moms and we are quickly consumed with schedules, being the best, making sure we are doing all the right things, but not too many of them for fear we will be spoiling our children or judged by the masses.
We become consumed with motherhood…and most of the time unintentionally. It just, happens. God wired us this way. I can see the differences in Brooklynn and Grayson as they help with their baby sister Hayden.
Brooklynn is quick to console, guide, help and nuture.
Grayson is quick to provide me with help, to solve the problem for Hayden and to play.
I see it in Hayden as she’s only 14 months old but sees a baby doll picks it up and says the word “hugs” as she holds it tight to her upper left shoulder. Then proceeds to grab a paci, a blankie and lay it down night night. Comfort. Nurturing. At 14 months old.
It’s engrained in us. It’s a calling put on our life. A gift to be treasured and certainly not taken lightly.
But if we aren’t careful --- we become so consumed in motherhood we lose ourselves, we lose who we we were before these sweet little people into our lives.
Before I had kids, I went to bed early and got up early, I ran at any time of day, Matthew and I went to events, we attended baseball games on the whim, we’d get into the car and travel, I would have girls nights – girls night that allowed girlfriends to come over and we would just drink some wine and chat all night because there were no little people in our home.
For those of you don’t know, I am a Team Beachbody coach…this opportunity was presented to me before I had children and I brushed it off, didn’t even give it the time of day. I didn’t need it then, but God knew I would need it eventually.
2 years from hearing about this opportunity I gave birth to Brooklynn and Grayson and quit my full time fitness job and became a stay at home mom. My dream was coming true, I was home with my babies full time and loving it….but there was something missing and I felt guilty for that. I felt guilty that I needed more or that people would think my kid weren’t enough.
But wasn’t it, I just felt like I could GIVE more to our world, that I could HELP more people, that I could change the world even just a little bit. So I reached out to my friend about that coaching opportunity and after some dialogue I joined and started this little side hustle business.
My intentions were to do this for community with others, to help other new moms find their way back to pre-pregnancy if they wanted too and to help earn a little income. I never dreamed it would change my life the way it has.
I know without a doubt without this opportunity I would not have learned this much about myself, about God, about His plan for my life…..I was called to be a mom and it’s a role I take very seriously, a role that makes me happier than I have ever been one minute and a stressed hot mess the next but I am so thankful that I have been able to REDISCOVER WHO I AM, who Brittanie is as a mom.
I am changed, motherhood changed me.
I always thought I was a shy person, boring really – but really I am a huge introvert and social settings DRAIN me while ALONE TIME and small groups ENERGIZE ME. Being a mom of 3, that means by the end of the day sometimes I am mentally drained and I CRAVE that alone time to work on my business and to dive into a passion of helping other moms discover who they are IN motherhood.
Currently I am writing this on a flight to Las Vegas for an exclusive leadership event I earned this year for 3.5 days. This is the first time I have been away from my family all at once since I was 11 weeks pregnant with Hayden. Every trip I have been on since has been with my entire family, with just the kids, with just Matthew or just Hayden. I haven’t been able to RECHARGE MY introvert true batteries in some time.
But this has also been the hardest time to leave (maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones?!) but it was hard to drive away this morning, where in years passed it’s been quick. I know God is changing my heart and priorities. This trip is because I NEED IT, I know my soul, my heart, my mind, my business needs this, and my family needs me to have this.
I’ve posted before about passions vs. callings – and we have both, and both are important. Without my passion, without my business I know I would never take this quiet time away, this trip away from being MOM and just be Brittanie – waking up and filling my soul, spending morning and evenings connecting with some of my best friends, taking time to learn and grow to help my team develop and to help more women find confidence in themselves.
Mommas, I know it’s hard to leave your family, I know it’s stressful (laundry, groceries, finding care, can hubby do it? Where to go? Financially…I get it) but it is oh so important for you to recharge those ____________________ (fill in your name!) batteries. When you go back, you feel refreshed, recharged and ready to fulfill all 1,000 requests you get in a day.
I wouldn’t hop on a plane and head to Las Vegas for 3 days to just play. But I will do it to learn, grow, fill my cup…because at the end of the day it will fill my family’s cup.
This time away I am speaking doesn’t have to be weekends away – when we move to Michigan I am hoping for a day, a night that I can escape for a few hours and be Brittanie while the kids play with family and hubby hunts or spends guy time.
Find a fitness class to attend one night a week or Saturday morning and don’t miss it.
Find an art studio you can take lessons at once a week.
Find a writing class you can take at the local college.
Find a book club to join.
Find a small group through church or a mother’s small group with childcare.
Find a hobby or volunteer somewhere 1-2 times a week for a few hours in field you’re passionate about.
Sing on the worship team at church.
Think about something that brings YOU JOY – selfishly fills your cup and do it once a week, once a month, something to break away and not be mom or wife but to be YOU.
Your kids will benefit from the time with just dad, I know the twins love this special time because dad is way more fun than mom ;) but it’s good for them too and good for hubby to jump into that dad role.
We are mothers, but motherhood does not define us and it is not all we are.
I believe it’s just as important for our kids to see that as it is for ourselves to know that. <3
Romans 12: 5-7 NIV or MSG
